A small friend of ours turns five today. His parents were our closest friends pre kids. We lives a block apart and spent our weekends hanging out. We met him within hours of his birth – I held him while his mom got a massage from her midwife. Now he is 5.

I love our friends but we rarely see them. They have a kid that doesn’t nap, we have a napper. They established a mom friend group 2.5 years ahead of us. Their son’s birthday party is this weekend – during naptime at a climbing gym where you have to be three to climb. We declined the invite. I sent her a text wishing him a happy birthday and explaining why and we said what we said whenever we run into each other or chat – “Let’s get together soon.” And then we never do.

I’m sad about it today but honestly, I don’t have the energy to maintain friendships right now. 90% of our friendships are things we maintain – plans that we make, events that we plan. I am tired. I want to see our friends and have a social life but I want someone else to do some of the work.

Some of this comes from it being the end of winter – no one is outside playing and friendships are easier there. Some of this comes from being a working mom – I miss out on a lot of opportunity. And some of this comes from just being burnt out.

All of it is fine and with a rest I will do the work and see our friends again. I know this is temporary. But currently I have a kid who NEVER stops talking, normally very loudly. He’s picked up some unsavory phrases at school (“I’m going to whack you in the head real hard and leave a mark!”) which is extra tiring. My dad just came to visit which makes me even more tired. And there are ants in our house.

Today the distance between 2.5 and 5 seems so far.


Posted on April 11, 2017, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Hang in there friend! For us, the closer we get to 4 the more amazing and magical the kids seem to be, and everything is just…easier.

  2. I can confirm 5 (for us) is a much better age than any previous age. πŸ™‚

    I was just lamenting to The Queen the other day how exhausting it is to maintain friendships at an adult level, especially when the friendships don’t naturally lend themselves to time spent together, like co-workers. It’s amazing how adults (and parents, especially) have friends at all with all we’re constantly juggling. Sigh.

    Hope you get some down town to relax and recharge soon, friend.

    • I love where we are at now and who Gus is but it is so exhausting. I talk A LOT and never knew someone could talk so much. It is near impossible to have conversations with other adults. He still needs constant attention. It is easier to do things with him that are him centered but not that are adult type things. I love him, he’s perfect, but he takes every bit of energy I have.

  3. Oh how I feel this! Can someone else just call US and ask to get together? Friendships take more time than I care to put in sometimes. Sounds awful but because I work M-F 8-5 plus drive time those precious moments I get with my littles…I want it to be well spent!

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