Two thoughts on two.

Gus turned two yesterday. It was  a great day – a rainy park play date with singing and cupcakes in the morning, a nap that was not long enough, and then a beer for moms at a kid friendly brewery in the afternoon. It was fun a simple. He got a massive dollhouse compound that I have been accumulating on craigslist for months and we got our closet back now that it no longer houses said dollhouse. Friends came to play, my dad is in town, and Lesley’s best friend came down from the big city two hours north to spend the day with us. It was good and there are leftover cupcakes.

It’s not too different having a now two year old. The funny thing about kids is that sometimes it seems so sudden and other times more like the gradual progression that it is. Lesley looked through his first pictures last night and he was so tiny and fresh. Timehop is now going to start sending me newborn pictures all over again. I’ll probably be more sentimental about it when my dad leaves – he likes to tell me all the things he sees on Fox News so that takes a lot of my brain space.

 The other big two i have been thinking a lot about it two kids. We know so many people that are pregnant with their second. Now that the kids we hang out with are 2 – 2.5 it’s time for everyone to have another baby. This progression has been a bit hard and I couldn’t figure out why. Lesley and I are one and done – we knew that before Gus was born and for the most part have been sure of it since he arrived. But here are all these ladies having babies and it just makes me… sad?I realized that most of the issue is that I do not feel like we have control over this. In a perfect world where things were easy we’d likely only have one kid. But in our current world there are so many other factors that move us towards that decision. We have a sold out donor. We can’t afford daycare for two. We are not as financially stable as we would like. We don’t feel we could comfortably fit a family of four in our house. Some of these things we could change and some we really can’t. While in the end we would likely make the same decision it is hard for me to feel like we do not have a choice.

The other side of having everyone you know be pregnant though is that I see them talk about it.The exhaustion and sickness that comes with being pregnant. Their worries for the adjustment of their older child. Their sadness to be spending their final days as a family of three. The financial stress. The relationship stress. While I see great examples of having a second child going amazingly well (ahem you two lovelies with my two favorite little girls) I also understand these concerns. And while some of them would likely be worked out eventually after having another kid some might not.They are real and fair concerns and a good reminder of some of the reasons why we are sticking with one.

So there it is. My baby turned two and I will never again have a baby that is one. Around me I will watch my friends grow their families – I will love and support them the best I can – and I will watch my one baby grow from a toddler to a full blown kid. It’s not a bad life.


Posted on October 3, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. His 2nd birthday party looks perfectly simple and fun and wonderful. Happy 2, Gus and moms!

    It sounds like y’all have hit your groove, and that is a nice space to occupy.

  2. Happy birthday Gus!

  3. Happy Birthday Gus and congrats to the moms! Looks like a perfect second birthday party.

  4. Yes I have been ‘one and done’ too since pregnancy after 3x ivf and a horrible high risk pregnancy and preterm birth.

    But now he’s 2 and everyone else is cracking on with their second child… well it does feel strange and bittersweet.

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