1,800. The estimate to fence in our front yard and garden. Higher than we hoped, lower than we feared. The guy has been working for 3 days though and I don’t see much difference so I am very worried that it is going to creep much higher. (earlier i said 18,000 because I am so tired. That’s insane.)

1,222. Our monthly mortgage payment I thought I got out of paying this month. Our loan switched companies and company 1 did not take payment and company 2 did not have any of our information. But alas, I owe it. It’s fine because I have it (yay tax return) but man, that would have been nice.

3. The number of nights my child has not slept. The longest stretch we have gotten has been about 1 2 hour stretch each night. Other than that he wakes up screaming every 20 minutes or so. Sometimes I just rock him in my arms (he’s been in bed with us because every 20 minutes), sometimes he screams hysterically for a half hour. I think I might be dying. My hypothesis for this sleep disruption is a combination of: teething, has a cold, separation anxiety, sleep regression, actually hates me. I’ve lost hope he’ll ever sleep again. I’ve lost hope I’ll ever sleep again.

2. The number of replies I got from my craigslist ad (yes, I posted it). One was a 19 year old single dude who on his facebook profile looks like a serial killer so I did not reply to him. The other was a male/female couple who look fairly normal. We met them for a beer last night (with Gus because always with Gus) because I realized that it’s weird to put an ad out that says, “Hey, we’re two women who want strangers to come over to our house at night!” Gus was a bit wild/uncooperative (you know, because he stopped sleeping) but everything was manageable and they seemed nice and we’ll have them over. It’s hard when friend shopping to not see new friends in comparison to old friends. These folks are nice but not our people like old friends were. But sometimes you just have to give folks some time so we’ll try again.

  1. The number of posts I’ve been meaning to write but haven’t found time to. I’ll give you the cliffnotes version. I hate getting presents or having someone do nice things for me because I do not feel I show gratitude well enough. I’ve had people come back and list things that they did to help us or whatever which just shows me they did not feel I was properly grateful. I hate sending thank you cards. I feel like trying to thank someone is one of the most awkward human experiences. Am I alone here? I don’t know how to un indent this one and am tired.

0. Pretty sure that’s the number of fruits or vegetables I have eaten this week. Survival. it is only about survival.



Posted on February 24, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. What are you doing for the teething? We have zero guilt about using ibuprofen or tylenol, plus teething tablets to get sleep. Mamas gotta function! Hang in there! That’s a very rough time.

    if it makes you feel better, my mortgage payment is $1724. Ouch. lol

  2. I always send thank you notes. I once got a thank you note for sending a thank you note. I shit you not. Many moons ago, I struggled with properly expressing gratitude. I felt awkward, maybe how you feel about it?

    But, my best friend taught me to express it over and over…even if at first it feels ‘forced’. And people always respond kindly when you thank them lots. So at first it felt unnatural and now it feels unnatural for me to NOT make sure I say thank you for everything. Practice helped me a lot with it.

    • I always feel like I am very thankful to other people but some recent events have me realizing it is not read that way. I need to get better about notes – I know they are important but I especially hate writing groups of them because it all feels so fake in the end. So expressing better, step one. Notes, step two.

  3. PS – How many months is Gus? That 18 month sleep regression damn near killed me coupled with molar teething.

  4. You certainly have your hands full. Isn’t home ownership grand? We get to use our tax return for a new roof. FUN. I LOVE that you went on a friend date. That is so brave. And I totally feel you on gratitude and thank you cards. I always have the BEST intentions and things just sort of get lost in the chaos of life.

    • Soon we can let the dog out without standing right there though and that is worth pretty much any amount of money right now. And think, you won’t need another roof for a long time! I am always fashionably late with notes too which I feel makes everything so much worse.

  5. Um, we finally mailed our TY cards for our baby shower in December – just under a year after the event. I’m TERRIBLE at notes. But I do feel like I’m pretty effusive about thanking people in person, which I hope makes up for the notes. Who has physical addresses anymore?!

  6. 18,000? Like, dollars? I’m never leaving the Midwest, where a fence and new deck can be had for about 5,000.

  7. Ha, I was trying to figure out how to tell you that 18000 was a rip off. But I kind of assumed you meant 1800.

  8. I actually spent several uncomfortable minutes inspecting my fence I don’t even OWN because I was having second hand nerves. Phfew. 😉

  9. I hate when people get you things or do things just to lord it over you. Bean’s birthday was a prime example. Please don’t send a card if you’re going to get pissy that it took me a whole day to say thank you

  10. Dude, why is fencing so expensive?! We’ll need to replace much of ours soon. Not to mention the siding on the house that needs to get replaced. Sigh.

    I’m sorry about the current sleep issues. That extreme lack of sleep is so rough, I know, and makes eeeeeeeeverything worse. I really hope he starts sleeping better soon, for all your sakes.

    We can’t offer kid-free hanging out, but please do let us know if you’d like to hang out and have a play date again!

    Also, saying “thank you” a couple times should suffice when something nice is done for or given to you. I often try to reciprocate somehow if possible but really, a sincere “thank you” should be enough, especially between friends! Before I had a kid I sent thank you cards all the damn time but that was more because I used to collect fancy cards and stationary and loved sending that kind of stuff out, not because I felt obligated to or anything.

    Hang in there.

    • Siding or painting our house is next year’s project. I’m already dreading that. He is asleep now and has been for a half an hour! I know it is silly to be excited about a half an hour but I am.
      I love your non kid free hanging out. Let’s lay soon.

  11. I used to be horrible at thank yous (I come by it honestely). I have been trying to improve at it for a long time now and I thought I was doing better but I always worry. I have never managed to send thank you cards even with the best intentions. Okay, well I sent one for an interview at feminist bookstore. Didn’t get the job cause I’m white.

    Those molars are hell. I hope that’s what it is and medicine helps. I had to give motrin on and off for a couple months when his bottom 2 years were coming in. His top ones are half out now and don’t phase him at all. The other time he screamed all night for two nights was when we accidentally ate chips with MSG.

  12. I’m assuming some readers had previous knowledge of the Craigslist ad thing, so until I kept reading, I must admit my first thought was, “oh cool, good for them!” Lol. Also CSA season is nearly upon us and you’ll eat plenty well then. But in all seriousness I’d be glad to do anything to help, no awkward thank yous needed.

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