On home birth
As Gus’ birthday is fast approaching I am preparing for a few things I want to do: finding cupcake recipes, cleaning the house as grandma (Lesley’s mom) and Auntie K (Our good friend from Canada) are coming to celebrate, picking out outfits for pictures, and sending flowers to our midwife.
I won’t send the flowers until next week (thank you payday) but I have been drafting the card in my head. I don’t know how to put what I feel into one card. [NOTE: I really hesitate to blog/talk about my home birth yet I feel it was a defining moment in my life. I don’t talk about it because I don’t want to discredit anyone’s experience, especially those whose births did not go as planned. If you don’t want to read further, I understand.]
I want to say something like this in one little card:
“You changed my life. Not only for being there to welcome our son in the world but for having total faith in me. I was someone who always believed I was weak. Who always believed I was not good enough. When I decided to have a home birth I was determined to do so yet didn’t think I could. You showed me I could. You taught me to trust my body. You taught me to trust my instincts.
Because of you I had the birth I dreamed of. I am in awe of women, of the birthing process. I am in awe of my body. With so much negativity surrounding birth and motherhood you made me feel unstoppable. In the days that followed you taught me how to feed my baby. At 11pm on the phone you taught Lesley how to calm him. In the weeks that follow you taught us how to take care of him. You taught me how to help my body heal.
Having a child has changed me but bringing in a child into the world on my own terms, from my own body, changed me more. I doubt myself less, I hold my head higher. I have more respect for other women, more respect for myself. I love my body in a way I didn’t know was possible. You gave me this gift of myself in addition to handing me my child.”
Maybe a little wordy? In labor pictures here for you! I’m going to write up a list of stuff to know birth to one for Gus’ birthday. Expect to see “Everyone takes a shower when you are in labor” on it.