Time delay

I had all of these beliefs about our little family taking shape. I always imagined the things we would do as a family and could picture the three of us together – before Gus ever started cooking.

Lately I have been feeling bad about this. We didn’t go camping this summer. We’re not doing enough activities. Are we playing enough? We aren’t hiking. We aren’t at all the family I imagined us being.

Then I realized that when I imagined this family it was never with a baby but instead with a four year old. Of course we are not doing all those things. It is 95 degrees. We’re trying to get Gus down to two naps. We’re really fucking tired.

I’ve decided the first year of your kids life is basically a wash. You do some fun stuff but you’re also just tired and I just accepted the fact we’ll do more fun stuff later. I’ll let Lesley start a garden again next year since I have grand dreams of Gus in it even though our garden this year is so so pathetic. We’ll go camping next year. We’ll hike a bit more. And each year we’ll do a bit more.

So if you are feeling this way, too – you get a pass. Next year you can be the parent you dream of being.

And here is my kid, because he is cute:



Posted on July 6, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. beautiful smile! Yeah, I had lots of dreams too. But now that I’m back to work she needs me around more than she needs a hike. We cancelled our camping trip because of illness, but we do have another one at the end of August. I figure, a lot of the things I want to do are more likely to happen next year and going forward. In the meantime I’m trying to enjoy things now. 🙂 At least she did great for her first fireworks. How did Gus do? Did he get to see any?

    • We didn’t do fireworks with him because we’ll go see some when visiting our families at the end of the month which will be easier (can walk there and not drive, that kind of stuff).Did she like the fireworks?

      • She was enthralled, even being overtired. But we were farther away which meant far less people and slightly quieter fireworks. 🙂

      • Our plan is to put him to bed and then get him in the carroer when it’s time, walk down, noise canceling headphones on, and stand far away so we can quick exit if needed. 🙂

      • Did you see they have really good baby earmuffs for sound protection? They’re called Baby Banz and all the musicians use them. That’s what we got for her but thankfully we didn’t need them.

      • That’s what we have! He wears then when we are somewhere with live music and women’s basketball games. 🙂 they’re on the packing list!

  2. Yes, that first year was all about survival for us, we did pretty much zero fun stuff. So far year two is much more exciting and action packed, but we still pay dearly for our fun times. I’m thinking year three will be the true start of family fun adventures.

  3. We did a bunch of stuff the first year with Thatcher and when Scarlett came, we quickly adjusted to doing practically nothing. Those memories were nice for us, but he didn’t care and a lot of the time, we kept him up late or threw him off just to say he had done it. We’ve definitely learned with subsequent kids to slow down considerably and wait until they actually can enjoy it. It makes the memoirs with them a lot more fun. So you’ve definitely figured it out before I did! 😉

    • I told Lesley the other day that we should have taken him camping. Her response was “Yeah, because sitting in the dirt and throwing his ball at him while trying to encourage him not to eat stuff sounds so much more fun than doing that in the air conditioning.” Fair point.

      • It’s so true. The sweet spot seems to be about two when they are happy to go do a new thing and the shine is exciting. But also, they are two, which is it’s own difficulty. 😉

  4. And because this needs its own comment: he is just the most adorable kid. He really, really is.

  5. I have fantasies like that too, but now that you mention it, you’re right–the fantasy always involves an older child rather than a baby. It seems that babyhood is perhaps it’s own kind of adventure. Although sitting here with Fred Flintstone feet and a pumpkin in my abdomen, I am certainly not yet qualified to say for sure!

  6. lifeasagaymom

    Trust me the fun comes later :):) the first year is daunting, but technically your family is still nesting. Rest, stay home when needed. Cuddle up and be together! You’ll have so much time later for adventure. I want to say things got easy when Shawn hit 2. It was easier for activities….but heck, 4 was the best age ever!! He could finally sit through a movie at the theatre. I miss those days too 😦 in good time. Give yourselves a break.

  7. lifeasagaymom

    Love me some him!!! I love seeing everyone’s baby pictures. Always makes me smile

  8. I so relate. And your kid is ridiculously adorable!

  9. Seriously, you nailed it. The first year is a wash. Just getting the hang of it all consumes all your energy. I promise the second one is a little better. I and digging the third one so far. Also, there is no need for grand plans. Go to bare bones and work back the things you like and love. Gus will guide you as he has more opinions on it all.

    • Seriously, yes. Each year our reality seems to match up closer & closer to the grand fantasies we might’ve held pre-baby. #2 (year and baby) didn’t derail us nearly as much as #1.

      • Don’t think I don’t notice what you did there with the baby #2 remark. It does keep getting easier in many ways (He naps less, he’s got a soft schedule, he can sit) so I know it will keep getting better – I just don’t know why it took me this long to figure this out!

  10. You know, thank goodness for Callie’s parents boat (with it’s 2 rooms, kitchen, AC, and small inflatable kiddie pool) because otherwise this would easily have been then best AND worst summer of my life! I hate feeling like I haven’t done anything. Like you, I imagined taking them on hikes (well, ONE baby really) but with Callie not really liking hiking much, a 7 year old who is actually really awesome, and 2 babies with one adult, well…you get the picture! As much as I hate the idea of them getting bigger, I kinda can’t wait, so we can go and do some stuff in the great outdoors. Also, naps, outside, 92 degrees? Not so fun!

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