Working mom woes
I’ve been meaning to write but just haven’t been too sure what to write about. I will start a post in my head and keep it going for a few days but then either lose it or it seems unimportant (You know, because this blog is so important). But today I have a topic.
I hate working. In reality I don’t but this week I sure do. This week has been a strange week. I got a text from our sitter late Sunday that both she and her daughter had some sort of stomach bug. I told her to let me know when she woke up the next day and we would evaluate then. I stayed home with Gus in the morning and once he went down for his morning nap she texted me and said she was feeling good. I took him over after his nap and went into work around 10:30. On Tuesday we went to drop him off at the sitter’s house and after ringing her doorbell five times and calling twice Gus and I dropped Lesley off at work and went home. I heard from here later in the morning when she woke confused. It was 93 degrees Monday and 91 degrees on Tuesday so they had multiple fans on in the house – she didn’t hear the bell or phone. I stayed home with Gus until Lesley got out of work at noon, we swapped him out, and I went to work. I had to work late last night to give a presentation but Lesley and Gus came and hung out at my work because it is air conditioned.
These couple of days have really made me want to be home. I know that’s probably not how I really feel and that this is a “grass is greener” thing but these last couple days have made it hard. Gus takes semi reliable morning naps and is able to play by himself for a short period of time. I was able to get stuff done both mornings and felt like if I just had a little more time I could get a handle on our lives.
There’s other factors that made this worse. Lesley has been sick, first with a cold and then with some sort of stomach flu, for weeks. It’s hot so after bedtime we have zero energy. Before Lesley was sick Gus was sick. There’s always something to do and no time to do it.
Add to that that my kid is really fun. He’s happy and engaged and I want to see him engage with the world. I will never get to go to library story time. There is a local baby hiking group here that pretty much only has daytime hikes. All baby activities pretty much center around stay at home parents. I want to do things with him and take him places and I’m at work. He went with the sitter to a splash park on Monday for the first time. Don’t worry, I got to hear all about how much fun he had.
I’m getting seriously behind at work. I can’t focus and now I am so far behind that I just don’t even know where to start. Maybe I want to run away from that. Maybe I just want to cuddle my kid. Maybe this will pass. But look at this face — this passing doesn’t seem likely.