Priority shift

I’ve always had trouble with feeling anxious. I go to bed at night stressed about the things I didn’t get done. When I have time to do things I feel stuck with where to start. I feel like there is never enough time, always too much to do.

I’ve worried about how this would play out when I had a child. Surely, things would not get done. We didn’t get laundry done fast enough and keep the bathroom clean enough before – how would we ever do it now?

And the first few months of my child’s life were filled with stress about this. I didn’t like people at the house (except a few close friends I stopped cleaning for). I had a hard time prioritizing fun things because there was so much work to be done. I felt like we were failing at motherhood because we couldn’t do it all.

And then suddenly and without warning I let it go. I’m not sure what shifted – Gus is more interactive. It’s easier to do things. (Game changers: Sitting up and eating solid food. We can go out to eat now and get him some avocado and not just eat one at a time while the other walks around with him.) And so much of the time we are at work – why waste our time as a family doing housework while Gus plays on the floor alone?

So we are living life. We move the laundry over from where it lives on the couch and just shuffle all papers to various piles about the room. But then we go hiking and play in the garden and find things that will make Gus laugh and I wondered why I ever wasted time doing anything else.



Posted on May 5, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. He is super adorable : ) What I usually do to make sure things get done (usually not so fast) but I make a list of things to do and give one task a day. So today you can do one thing and then enjoy time with your family, and then the next day do something else.

    • That’s a bit where we are at. I actually find since letting go a bit more is getting done because if we do something it is good enough instead of just feeling trapped under all there is to do. Dishes are getting done and I feel like that is great and sanitary. 🙂

      • Exactly, try to make things easier. I always make a weekly list because I know there are so many things that need to be done. Good Luck : ) & also what helps me is I got a small dry erase board with days of the week to put my todo’s on that way I can wipe em off when they are completed.

  2. This is lovely.

  3. Gus is so cute! Yeah I am like all or nothing with cleaning, but there is no time to do deep cleans so I’m learning to do what I can when I can to avoid what my “nothing” looks like. I’m a naturally cluttered person. Family time is a commodity when you work full time.

  4. I think you should always choose hanging out with the kid over housework! Maybe you could swing a monthly cleaning service for a good deep clean?

  5. I struggled with the same things, and I’m home all day! It really does get easier though as they get older. Gus actually “helps” me unload the dishwasher and put clothes on the washer and dryer!

  6. I absolutely get this!! As someone who struggled with OCD since I was about 10, it’s hard not to obsess and to go nuts about the little things like laundry or dishes or dusting bedroom furniture. I experienced “the shift” about 2 1/2 months in. I didn;t care anymore! I get home from work at about 6pm. I get about 2 hours with the kids when I get home. TO me, helping Mary with homework or cuddling on the couch with her after work was more important. Singing the boys silly songs while I gave them bottles was the highlight of my day. So i let the dishes sit in the sink and hope to get it done but the weekend. That hardly happens because i’d rather be teaching Mary to ride her bike, or letting the boys put their feet in the grass. I’ve actually found a random spoon, inspected it, wiped it on my shirt, and ate my breakfast cereal…my family is my priority, not everything else! And Gus has THE. BEST. cheeks!

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