A do over

We keep toying with this idea of one more child. I made a list of things that need to happen in order to make that decision: A) I need to be able to eat dairy. B) Gus needs to sleep better. C) We need to have a plan for how we might be able to add onto our house in the future. I also set a deadline: We decide by the end of the year.

It seems like a daunting task. I’ve got the house plan made (Our house would not handle two teenagers and two adults well and I don’t want to move. I know there is a lot of time and this could change but I needed to feel like we have options.) and we’re working on sleep constantly. Dairy is what it is and will sort itself out by then.

The real question I have to figure out is do I want another kid or do I want a do over? We’re just at the point where I feel that we can do this. Things are fun and manageable and while there are bad days it is normally okay. It is normally good. But in reaching this point I feel like there is so much we missed.

We never got family pictures as a newborn. We don’t have his foot print or hand print as a newborn. I don’t remember his first smile. I’m behind in the baby book (like, way behind). I didn’t hold him enough. I don’t remember enough. I didn’t take enough pictures. I didn’t enjoy it enough.

So is it that I want another baby or is my boy growing too fast for me to keep up? Could I really do better next time or would I be ever farther behind? I don’t know.

Gus turns 6 months old this week and we’re trying to catch up. We took family pictures this weekend. I plan to get his hand and foot print this week. I savor every smile, even if I don’t remember the first one. I just goes so fast.

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Posted on March 31, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I think most mothers struggle with those things. Your intuition will tell you what is best for you and your little family. After much consideration I decided to just stick with my one for now because I couldn’t do two as well as I can do one.

    Ps – my mom has 3 kids. My baby book is half done. My sister’s (2nd kid) has one entry, and I did my baby sister’s. Lol. So don’t feel bad about that!

  2. Baby books are totally over rated šŸ˜‰

  3. The hand prints, baby book and family portraits are so much less important than the fact that he has parents who adore him. Don’t let guilt be your guide when it comes to this decision because at the end of the day, you have exactly what you set out for–a happy, healthy baby. There’s nothing to feel guilty about!

  4. I can tell you that every time we have a new baby, we forget even MORE stuff because time starts to dwindle. With Cordelia and Lucille, we literally had to run back into the hospital after discharge to ask how long they were because, we literally forgot to ask their baby length.

    That actually happened.

    You are never going to parent perfectly or capture every memory and all of these little quirks and forgotten moments are completely normal.

    That huge, adorable smile on his face? That’s a smile born of love and care and beautiful memories and two happy mamas. Everything you forget is on your kid’s shining face. And everything you don’t forget is an amazing feat because woo, friend, he is going to do so, so many wonderful things. šŸ™‚

  5. We always knew we would have at least two kids in our family, and even now the feeling that we’re not all here yet hangs on. When it comes down to it, going from parenting one to parenting two is a high change, since you’re suddenly not simply learning how to interact with your child, but they have this whole thing where they interact with each other, for better or worse! Either way, if it helps we only got Darwin’s baby book started when she turned 6 months too. With the exception of hand and foot prints, which still amaze me.

  6. It goes by WAY TOO FAST. I CAN’T STAND IT!

  7. And…I think you should go for it, you are both great moms!

  8. Yes…this is my 3rd comment but we don’t have very many pictures of the 4 of us either, mainly because 90% of the time we look like animals and the babies look adorable lol

  9. It really does go too fast. I swear, having kids is the quickest way to thrust yourself into a “Live in this moment” mindset.

    A hundred years ago, you’d be lucky to get one or two pictures taken of your family in the span of a decade. So really, you’re way ahead! šŸ™‚

  10. I have to say, even keeping up with their monthly update is taxing, mainly because there really isnt any time between changing diapers, washing clothes, doing tummy time, feedings, etc. But, their smiles are etched into my brain. I see them all the time. Their tiny hands caressing my face is a feeling that I will NEVER forget. No book will ever be able to hold how powerful that is. Those days in the sun at the park with Gus? You’ll remember the way it smelled, and every time you smell that, you’ll remember his adorable giggle while you push him on the swings. Believe me! It goes fast, too fast, but the memories, whether or not they are housed in a book, are things that you will never forget. Go for number two!?! Why not! You won’t regret the memories or the love…

  11. I just barely got excited about a 2nd baby. We didn’t do so many things I wanted or thought I had to do to be the perfect mother I wanted to be. Newborns are hard. M is 9 months old now and it’s just getting easier. I still haven’t started his baby book, and sometimes I get behind writing in his journal, but life is easier and he is so fun. I can finally see that having another is possible and am excited for him to have a sibling. You might feel that way in a few months too, or you might decide to be one and done, but all that other stuff really doesn’t matter. I have to tell myself that ALL the time. Like, we just did 9 month photos (not thinking about stranger anxiety) he cried, was scared and upset almost the whole time. I was sad that we didn’t get that perfect picture I had imagined, but J reminded me that it is what it is, a perfect capture of who he is right now. Try not to be too hard on yourself šŸ™‚

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