A do over
We keep toying with this idea of one more child. I made a list of things that need to happen in order to make that decision: A) I need to be able to eat dairy. B) Gus needs to sleep better. C) We need to have a plan for how we might be able to add onto our house in the future. I also set a deadline: We decide by the end of the year.
It seems like a daunting task. I’ve got the house plan made (Our house would not handle two teenagers and two adults well and I don’t want to move. I know there is a lot of time and this could change but I needed to feel like we have options.) and we’re working on sleep constantly. Dairy is what it is and will sort itself out by then.
The real question I have to figure out is do I want another kid or do I want a do over? We’re just at the point where I feel that we can do this. Things are fun and manageable and while there are bad days it is normally okay. It is normally good. But in reaching this point I feel like there is so much we missed.
We never got family pictures as a newborn. We don’t have his foot print or hand print as a newborn. I don’t remember his first smile. I’m behind in the baby book (like, way behind). I didn’t hold him enough. I don’t remember enough. I didn’t take enough pictures. I didn’t enjoy it enough.
So is it that I want another baby or is my boy growing too fast for me to keep up? Could I really do better next time or would I be ever farther behind? I don’t know.
Gus turns 6 months old this week and we’re trying to catch up. We took family pictures this weekend. I plan to get his hand and foot print this week. I savor every smile, even if I don’t remember the first one. I just goes so fast.