Ours

Today we got the boy’s birth certificate and I cried.

There it was, clear as day, parent and parent. We honestly moved to Oregon five and a half years ago for this moment.

We always knew we wanted a child. I don’t think either of us knew until we met each other but it was decided upon 8 and a half years ago we’d do this together. When Lesley was applying to grad school we knew she wanted to go here and upon acceptance one of the deciding factors for Oregon over Michigan (where we’re from) was our rights, specifically to both appear on a child’s birth certificate.

And here we are- two legal parents. I’ve been struggling because Lesley is a better mom. She just is. She’s more patient. More understanding of his needs. She can get him to sleep instantly where I cannot. She is more fun and nicer to me than I am to her. I don’t feel bad- I’m glad my son has such an amazing mom- I just wish I could do better. None of this is news- I always knew she’d be a better parent than me. I always knew she was cut out for this in ways I never will be.

I know having Gus is on the list of best things I’ve ever done but I know that the top of that list holds making Lesley a mom. I’m not going to lie, it feels damn good for the government to recognize her as one.

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Posted on February 28, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. My wife and I didn’t really consider either of us having a biokid until our marriage was legally recognized. I wouldn’t be willing to carry if she weren’t able to be recognized from the get-go. This is in part because of my family (my parents are homophobic and were horrible parents) and my lack of trust in them honoring my wishes if I were to die in childbirth (not likely, but I’d rather not have my wife’s losses compounded).
    Anyway, our state is the same as yours in terms of same-sex parenting rights. 🙂

  2. We have to go and pick up our boys birth certificate! I am looking forward to this moment as well!
    My mom will swear that my dad is the better parent because he is so patient and gentle. She says he was wonderful with us when we were babies and that it just wasn’t her stage. Elementary school were her chosen years. I will say that I have special bonds with each of my parents and I go to them for very different things. I cannot tell you who is the better parent, and I bet when Gus gets older he will say the same thing.

  3. We had to do a second parent adoption to get us both on the birth certificate, it is pretty cool to see it in black and white! 🙂

  4. That’s so awesome! We just got Punky’s birth certificate, mostly because I didn’t want to see the big gaping hole in the “father” section. So we just didn’t order it until it could be amended. Three years later, we still don’t have an amended one, but needed it for some other stuff. Can’t wait til we can see it corrected!

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