39 + 2
The next person who asks me when I am having this baby is getting punched.
Being super pregnant is kind of like being told that sometime in the next week (give or take) you are going to get shot. It’s going to really hurt and you have no idea when it is going to happen and you just keep living your life waiting for it to happen.
It’s not the excitement to give birth (duh) or the excitement to actually have our baby here – it’s the anticipation that kills me. I have no idea what is going to happen and when. Yes, I have some general ideas about what will happen when I go into labor but I don’t know how it will look for me. People ask if I am having any signs of labor. You know what I think a sign of being in labor will be? BEING IN LABOR. I think it might be different if you are not on your first child because you can say, “Oh, before Child A was born I felt like ____ for a few days” or something like that. I have no frame of reference for this.
Waiting is so terrible. Our midwife kept telling me to keep busy and we did nothing but clean this weekend. The good news is I think if we have this whole week all the projects will be done. The bad news is I spend a lot of time stressing. I have started to wonder: 1) What happens if I go into labor and midwife is at another birth (I know there is someone else in the community using her for their second child who is somewhere around 37 weeks.)? I will ask this Wednesday. 2) What happens if my water breaks and I don’t really know it and then contractions don’t start? (I used to think this was impossible but now no longer believe that.) 3) Is baby moving enough? What if something is wrong?
I’m having braxton hicks about 45 minutes apart (I timed them all day on Saturday). They don’t hurt but are sometimes noticeable. Unfortunately, that’s not really a sign of labor because, you know, it is not BEING IN LABOR.