The hard parts of pregnancy.

I try really hard not to complain too much about pregnancy. I follow many people (and they follow me) who are trying to get pregnant and I’ve been there. I’ve read other’s whines and thought: When I get pregnant I am going to enjoy it and not complain. I follow many people (and they follow me) who are sick and struggling through pregnancy. I have had it fairly easy. No morning sickness, some heartburn, but no big problems. My midwife visits all go great and both ultrasounds showed no problems.

But you know what? Pregnancy is hard. Especially now but all around. The tiredness is probably the worst part. I wake up ready to go and get things done during the day but around 2 just can’t take it anymore. Being that I work 8-5 this is a problem because I can’t do much when I get home. During time periods where I felt good it was 95 degrees outside and being pregnant and hot is hard. I’m now 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I’ve had intense hip pain for the past few days (Note: if you get a dog at 36 weeks pregnant you should take some walks first because surprise, four walks a day is a little difficult). I am not comfortable anywhere. I am tired. I don’t sleep well. To roll over in bed I have to GET OUT OF BED and re-lay down in a different position. I can’t easily pick things up off the group. I can’t move the wet clothes to the dryer in our stackable washer and dryer.

Lesley is a saint. She is very helpful and tries to do a lot for me but she also works 40 hours a week. She deserves a break. She likes to go to bed with me which means that she is in bed at 9-9:30 as well. We have less than four weeks to go and the nursery is not done. The house is not clean. projects are half done everywhere. I’ve grown to accept it. Lesley was supposed to start working less now but she’s not great at it. Oh, and have I mentioned that my brother and his 2 year old and 4 year old and my sister and her new boyfriend are all coming into town this weekend? My sister only for a brief stay and not staying with us but my brothers and the boys are coming and staying with us Friday-Tuesday. That doesn’t add any extra stress…

The worst part for me is nagging her. I normally mow the lawn and clean the cat box. I can’t do either of those things. I help where I can but it’s just hard.

We have friends who have helped. Our friend B mowed our lawn during a particularly bad week and dropped off a lasagna she made this weekend when she accidentally made too much. Those kind of things are such a huge help.

There was an article floating around facebook a while ago about women looking for their “village”. Like in the sense that it takes a village and they can’t find theirs. I already feel this and we don’t have a kiddo here yet. I think of all my friends with kids. I wish I knew more to help them when they were pregnant. I wish I knew to do for someone what I want now. There’s so much talk about helping new moms but no talk about helping people who are trying to get ready for a baby and are completely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff they have to do.

For now, I hope this baby stays in until at least 9/25. My mom gets here on 9/23 and that’s really my only chance of having our floors washed before this baby comes.

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Posted on September 3, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. The last month of pregnancy is rough, no way around it. You are so close though! It’s stressful when there is so much to do, little time to do it, and physical limitations. If things don’t get done, don’t feel bad. There are things I had wanted to accomplish before baby that still aren’t done going on 7 weeks of his life. The silver lining is you care significantly less once baby is here, so it’ll all work out for you.

  2. The end of pregnancy is really, really hard and it’s okay to complain.

    As for the village – I totally agree. I wish I had more friends actually helping instead of saying, “Let me know if you ever need anything!” I’m never, ever going to call someone and say, “Can you go to the store and pick me up x, y and z?” I’m just not that kind of person. I wish we had the villages that our ancestors did. People will offer to help when the baby comes, but those offers will fade very quickly (think 6 weeks or less) and from the on, you’ll need to reach out to ask for help if you need it.

    • A friend and I were just having a conversation about how even if you have an easy pregnancy you are still pregnant. People don’t really understand that.

      I agree that I will never call people and ask for help. The same friend (E at gaybymakessix, who has been one of my best friends for 12 years) and I were talking about how you can’t make friends as an adult like you did when you were 18. My friends from when I was 18 would show up at my house with take out and some beer by now and get shit done. I don’t know why that doesn’t exist in adulthood.

  3. Regarding rolling over in bed, I would get on my hands and knees and change positions that way since if I ended on my back I would be like an upsidedown turtle with no hope of getting back on my side. Try it sometime and see if it works.

    I remember the last month. Once I hit 37 weeks I was like: Okay baby you can come out now! And my doctor told me that my cervix was looking favorable and it would be sooner rather than later. LIES! ALL LIES! I even lost my mucus plug on June 2 and I was like “Yay! This is it!” and she wasn’t born until 41 weeks and even then only because I was induced. Go to a movie if you can. Try to get a pedicure or something. As uncomfortable as you are try to enjoy these last few quiet moments.

    • Hahaha, last night’s crying stress fit was about how I just want to go to the movies and there is no time.

      I try the hands and knees a lot of the time but sometimes can’t get the momentum I need to go that way. Also, when I roll I typically roll towards Lesley and it means moving my whole body and my body pillow and I feel like getting out of bed is less disruptive although really, it’s not like I don’t loudly huff and puff about it no matter what.

  4. It’s always okay to complain! These struggles are real, and it’s good for us who aren’t preg yet to know what we’re getting into. 🙂 And especially the last month – goodness! It’s amazing that you’re even still working. I know it’s financially impossible not to in our society, but it still amazes me that ladies work all the way through that last trimester. I am so not looking forward to that part. ❤

    • I would LOVE to not be working and I actually have a really good maternity leave set up (12 weeks, full pay) for the US but don’t want to use it before the baby is born. Plus I need to get caught up on stuff so they don’t realize how far behind I am and fire me while I am gone. 😉

  5. As you know, I totally get it. Complain away, I say. Like Lindsay said, it would be so incredibly helpful if we had more friends that were in a position to just come over and help – both while I was pregnant and now – but I’m so not the type to ask for those things. It’s hard, I know. Like right now? We’d kill for someone to come over and clean the kitchen and our bathrooms. I guess learning to let go of that kind of stuff is part of the whole experience?

    See you tonight!!

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