Ain’t that the way
This cycle has been nuts. It’s been sad and frustrating and at times I wondered how long we can keep doing this. But we keep pushing forward often unaware of how trying to get pregnant infiltrates so much of what we do.
I was excited to see a reproductive endocrinologist this week. We made an appointment and pushed it up so we could get in before I ovulated. We got to the appointment Tuesday and I knew something was wrong. The receptionist charged me something different than I was supposed to be charged and didn’t seem to know why we were there. The nurse called us back and we met with the doctor. She was nice and we talked about our attempts and she referred us to a doctor that performs IUI’s (inter uterine inseminations. A step further than what we’ve been doing at home that can be done at home or with a doctor). She encouraged us to call the doctor as he has a long wait list.
At that point I started crying. I explained that when I called her clinic I was given prices for iui’s leading me to believe they were an alternative to the other more expensive doctor she referred. She told me she didn’t think anyone at her practice did iui’s but she would check. Turns out two doctors do but despite my explaining our situation to the receptionist when I made the appointment we were not placed with either of those doctors.
Luckily our doctor was great. She was sweet and understanding as I sat there crying in exam room 2 and talked to the nurse for one of the other doctors who does iui’s. We go back in to meet with that doctor almost a month later: November 4th.
In the meantime we had already ordered iui sperm, prepared to go that route either at home or with the RE. It came yesterday, a day late thanks to some confusion at UPS. I may have gotten a positive on an ovulation predictor yesterday morning but Pot and I couldn’t agree on whether or not the lines were the same color. I thought we should go for it and inseminate early this time – 10 hours after the positive instead of 18 or 24. The plan was for me to rush home after work to inseminate before dinner guests arrived.
Near the end of my work day I decided I should go to a union meeting after work as we’re in contract negotiations and I had some questions. Okay, we will inseminate after dinner. Except I forgot to remind Pot. 4.5 hours, 2 bottles of wine, and a few beers later friends leave and Pot remembers. Let the fumbling begin.
The IUI process is a bit more complicated than what we have been doing and requires a bit more precision. And my lovely partner is drunk. She looks at me and preemptively apologizes for any mistakes. I laugh and tell her that this is how babies are made: clumsily after sharing a few bottles of wine with friends.
Will this be the time it works? I have no idea. But after a disappointing doctors trip it was just what we needed – for things to be our version of normal and filled with laughter. Today I have an Ani Difranco lyric running through my head – I love you. And you love me. And ain’t that the way it’s supposed to be.
Fingers crossed that this time is it and this process really is that simple.