Currently I am 9 days past our insemination. I won’t know whether or not it worked for a few days still – I am hoping by Thursday I start my period and can move on.
This try has been pessimistic from the start and I would be shocked if I am pregnant. I do not think I am and am prepared to try again. I am hoping that next time I can stay positive about it because while I would laugh at it if anyone said this to me I can’t help but think maybe my negative energy has something to do with it.
I have had a cold for a few days. I was sick over the holiday weekend and am maintaining a good cough today. I won’t take anything – no vitamins, no medicine, no herbs – in case I am pregnant. At this point I just hope that my period starts and I can take some Nyquil. We also leave for a vacation on Friday morning to go to Napa with friends for my birthday. My sister lives in Napa and even if I am pregnant I will not be ready to tell my family yet so another reason why timing would not be ideal.
That being said, I would LOVE to be pregnant and stop spending money and start prepapring for the little thing to enter our world. We would both be beyond excited – we’re just not hopeful.
I wonder what next try will be like. I have had one cycle where I was extrememly optimistic and one where I had no faith in things working out. Will next try switch back to optimistic or is pessimism where I will stay? Either way, I am looking ahead – preparing for what is next. We are deciding to switch donors next try. Common belief is that you should switch every three months so we thought why not at two. Also, if we order before the 8th sperm is on sale. Yup. SPERM IS ON SALE. I never imagined that would be a true statement but it is great news for us as we will save $100 and with a vacation this month that is a welcome savings.
I am thinking about what our timing will be like when we are pregnant from the next try. We’ll have just found out we are pregnant when Pot’s mom comes for a visit and can tell her in person. The baby will be born right around Pot’s birthday. If it doesn’t happen next time and happens in October then we can incoporate the news into holiday gifts for our parents. These small thoughts and preparations are helpful – believing that it will happen soon is good and needed. It may not be this cycle and it may not be next but some day, hopefully some day soon, we’ll put trying to conceive behind us and happily move forward with our lives.