Waiting

This waiting game is terrible. I just can’t even begin to explain it. I really did think I would be calm and relaxed about this which is odd since I can’t remember the last time I was calm and relaxed about anything.

In some ways I think it gets easier every day and in some ways I think harder. It is easier now, four days past insemination, to get my mind on other things but I also know step by step what should be happening and look for signs of that. If I am pregnant, the fertilized egg should be in or arriving in my uterus now. At 6 to 7 days everything should implant into my uterus. This is when a lot of women notice something is up because there is cramping or spotting. I am trying hard not to imagine symptoms so knowing this might happen is kind of killing me. I’ve felt nauseous since the insemination but that could be anything, including nerves.

While we wait we try to keep our mind off things. Before insemination we started watching The West Wing (for the third time) and will finish season 2 tonight. There are still five more seasons to go so that will get us through this waiting game easily. We won’t test until the 13th – a week and a day to go.

While The West Wing is helping the wait time I can tell you what is not helping: the internet. If I could tell you the number of times a day I google “earliest signs of pregnancy”… Also, Pot and I made an Amazon wish list of baby items last night. While a super fantastic activity, maybe not great for the anticipation.

I’m curious to see how this waiting period changes from month to month (of course, if more that one month is needed). As someone who is already more anxious than most people I wonder if I will calm down as times and tries go by or if each month it will be this excruciating. I’m not entertaining the possibility that as the months go by this will get worse.

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Posted on August 5, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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