Anxieties

Yesterday I panicked. It all centered around tracking ovulation and quickly spun out of intros. I have been tracking monthly and was supposed to get positive results last week when peeing on an ovulation testing sick. When nothing showed up I got worried and when I started my period yesterday, what I thought was a week early, I understood why. I began to get worried about when to order sperm as it only lasts for seven days when it gets here. If my ovulation tracking is off when do I order?

So I took this question to a forum set up by our sperm bank. I got some good answers and more overwhelmed. This led to pot finding me laying in bed sobbing. I felt we were so behind on things we needed to do and were not at all prepared. She called friends who have been through this and after their kiddos went to bed we went to their house to talk it out.

We immediately figured out that nothing was off track. I got a new phone earlier this month and when I reload ladytimer it went to default settings and said I had a 33 day cycle instead of a 26. Problem solved; we’re on track.

So the big news is this: we’ll order sperm this month! I’ll ovulate twice in August so in a month we’ll be old pros at this. It’s overwhelming – this thing we’ve been wanting for so long is finally here. I’m worried about the money, I’m worries that we’re going to screw something up, I’m worried about how our lives are going to change. But we’re here. We ARE ready. And in 11 days we’ll get a package delivered, squeeze each other’s nervous hands, and say, “Let’s do this.”

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Posted on July 20, 2013, in Lesbian pregnancy, LGBT. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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